I want to be the person who names the episodes of Hellcats because "Papa, Oh Papa" reminds me of some post-apocalyptic movie of doom and gloom and not of a CW TV show about a university cheerleading squad. This episode should be named something like "Daddy Issues?" or "Watch This, Daddy."When I last left the Hellcats, way back in December of 2010, I was on the verge of breaking up with them. My sexy cheer time was about to be kicked out the door because I really prefer when there is more sexy cheer time and less whimpering Marti in the back of the bus and while we do pick up with last week's horribly-named episode with Marti still being the social pariah because she "hooked up" with Dan, I do think this episode redeems itself mainly because it ends with exactly why we watch. Say it with me, "Sexy. Cheer. Time!"
The Hellcats are on their way to Nationals which means that Marti has put saving the world and its wrongly convicted convicts on hold. She leaves her guitar with her law school partner, Morgan, who in turn leaves it with Marti's mom, Wanda, in hopes of getting lucky with some goth chick who has "daddy issues." Wanda, in turn, goes to see Travis The (Wrongly Convicted) Convict and hops up on the table in the visiting room, licks her lips, takes a bite out of him and the oatmeal cookies she stole from work, and snarls about "getting her some conjugal visits". Actually I am paraphrasing there so it shouldn't be in quotes or maybe that never really happened but you get the point. Wanda wants some sexy prison time.
So back at Nationals it's all ice cold shoulders and backstabbing. Everyone has turned against Marti. Alice wants to fly around Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn's face to keep her Daddy happy, since he showed up unannounced to see his little girl perform and he thinks that Alice and Lewis are still dating and that Alice is still the "head flyer" and Alice does not want to disappoint her Daddy. (They really need me to name the episodes.) Alice bribes a squad member, Frankie, with a leather jacket to help turn the rest of the squad against her and it works. Catty little bitches. Boys included. However, when Vanessa learns what happened she and Marti decide a "Cheer Off" is required. Yep, just like the Zoolander "Walk-off" but in cheerleading skirts with more pouty faces. Alice loses in a big way and Marti resumes her spot on the squad as one of the main flyers. I have to say I much prefer Marti "The Tough Girl" over Marti "The I Am So Sorry I Messed Up Girl". Much hotter.
Alice, who is not done trying to show her Daddy that she is worthy, decides to blackmail Savannah because she helped the rival team, Memphis Christian, get to Nationals. So instead of Savannah just saying "Dude, my sister is pregnant. I couldn't let her fly," Savannah pretends to have a hurt ankle and asks Alice to cover for her. Alice graciously accepts. Marti, unable to deal with the fact that her "best girl friend" won't even look at her, corners her in her hotel room where she can't run away and confesses her love and then they have a pillow fight. Only they are NOT in teddies and it is not in slow motion and there are no downy feathers floating through the air. However, in the end they do make up, shake hands and Marti gives Savannah her spot as flyer as a gesture of friendship in a totally platonic non-lesbian way.
And as the show winds down the Hellcats turn up the charm and lure me back in with a final dose of... SEXY CHEER TIME! Finally. They end this episode having won the competition with a score of 98.6. Alice's father doesn't even show up until they are done and leaving and she basically tells her Daddy to kiss her cute little hiney.
Fin.
Until tomorrow's recap of last nights new episode. Stay tuned!
