Survey SAYS... You're Dead!

Talk about a ball of confusion.

I have spent the last three days on an epic quest to find the truth about the life and death of Richard Dawson. Turns out we have been laboring under the delusion that my all-time favorite game show host passed away a few years ago, but the rumors of his death were apparently greatly exaggerated.

Because he's alive.

Or is he?

It's like a peanut wrapped in cheese cloth, breaded and deep fried on my stove, rolled and coated in oats and wrapped in a soft taco shell before being buried in a tiny coffin in my backyard.

THAT is how difficult unearthing the correct information about this man is.

As far as I can tell there exists out there an entire group of people whose job it is to confuse and undermine anyone trying to prove without a doubt that Richard Dawson is still walking the earth.

You find proof of life, turn a corner and there is another nugget of info contradicting what you just found. He's alive, no he's dead, he's alive, no he's dead.

I'm this close to writing his wife/widow and demanding the truth.

Anyway, getting back to what I really wanted to say...

If you had a pulse in the '80s, you watched Family Feud and you secretly hoped your family would one day scrape up enough brain cells to get on the show and answer at least two questions correctly for prizes and endless kisses from your host.

No one could command the survey results from the board with such authority like Richard could!

"Survey SAYS"... BING!!! "kissing and hugging!"

Either that or you got the shame of the big red triple XXX when you and the roomful of prisoners they had locked away somewhere to survey didn't agree on the most popular answer.

Still, when Richard retired from Family Feud it was never the same.

I know he had a full and distinguished career before he walked on the game show set but this is how I like to remember him.

Alive, dead or in between.