Chag: Is this Schindler's List?
Archphoenix: Oh dear God, Chag. Uwe isn't really going Holocaust, is he?
A Vapid Blonde: "And all hope is fading." Is this a foreshadowing of my feelings for this movie?
Archphoenix: Vapid, it's a Uwe Boll film. There is no hope that this will be classy. Or watchable.
Chag: Here's a fun idea: let's drink every time they make a fat joke!
A Vapid Blonde: Did she just say she's Zamfir? This is already confusing.
Chag: Great! Just what the world needed: more slo-mo Matrix bullet dodging!
Chag: Ladies and gentlemen, Richie Cunningham's little brother!
Archphoenix: Rolling pins? Really? Oh Uwe. *sigh*
Chag: Ok. I'm drunk now.
A Vapid Blonde: She just killed that guy over a Footlong. All the work that Jared's done for the Subway image, RUINED!
A Vapid Blonde: Did she just poop? Oh my God, what is going on and why is there a cigar girl in the background?
A Vapid Blonde: Chia Hitler!
A Vapid Blonde: I kind of like the Bavarian Beer Fest Wench look. Anyone else craving a St. Pauli Girl... or twelve right now?
Archphoenix: I don't even understand what's happening here with all the weaving. Is it too late to sign up on the Stop Uwe Boll petition?
Chag: So... this is about an obese half-vampire super hero who kills Nazis? They came up with this plot using Mad Libs, didn't they?
Archphoenix: No, Chag, they pulled it from Uwe Boll's magical hat of crap ideas. HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING FUNDING?
Chag: I just IMDbed Uwe Boll and don't think I've seen a single one of his movies. After watching this trailer, I plan on keeping it that way.
