When we last left the Hellcats, Savannah's hopes and dreams of a magical deflowering were completely crushed. Crushed by her naivete. Marti told her Dan Patch was a player but what she didn't tell her was that Dan had been playing in Marti's secret garden accidentally trying to grow little Patches and then skipping town and never talking to Marti ever again. Well, for at least six months anyway. Savannah basically turned the dirt over in Marti's garden in front of the entire squad, including Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn, who apparently is afraid to do any weeding now and they all leave Marti alone with only one friend, Dan The Man Patch and Alice who admits to feeling "kind of" sorry for her. I'm really beginning to like Alice. She's just a big old slut, what you see is what you get and she gives it out freely. Only thing is since Alice stole that magazine article away from the Lancer football team, Bill Marsh, the crooked head of the athletic department essentially shuts down all cheer activities and blah, blah, blah. This whole part of the show could die for all I care. I'm watching this show for all the hot cheer girls and boys. I'm not watching it to see Evil Bill Marsh bribe people to play football. What high school jock is going to turn down a chance to play collegiate football if he doesn't get hush money?
Speaking of hot cheering girls and boys, we got a bit of it at the beginning and then the only cheering after that was the christian academy cheer squad *yawn* that Savannah's slutty and pregnant (sound the sirens a christian girl lost her virginity and got pregnant whoop whoop whoop) sister cheers for. Savannah saves the day, fearing for the safety of the newly conceived cheerbaby and helps her sisters squad get the sponsorship they need for nationals. And then Savannah lies to her mother and realizes that there really is a time and a place for lying and sometimes we don't always need to know the truth, especially if that truth is knowing your best friend and your boyfriend did it in the back of a Buick, which by the way is exactly where Dan Patch and Marti just happen to be, discussing the scene of the original sex crime while Marti is on a stakeout trying to gather evidence to help with that wrongly accused musical convict she is going to free by the end of the season. Forgot about that, didn't you? Well, the writers didn't.
You know what they say, if the Buick's a rockin'... well they don't actually rock anything, but it does get a little steamy in the Buick but it's short lived and in the end Marti tells Dan it's all a mistake, it was then and it is now and that's that and then they started singing "Why Can't We Be Friends" by War. Not really I just made that up, but I think that would be really funny. Or stupid.
Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn apologizes to Marti for not having her back. Savannah forgives Marti for not telling her the entire truth about her and Dan. Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn goes and gets Dan Patch so that he and Savannah can "patch" things up. Then they all get together and have group sex.
Ha, no they don't but they do share a group hug, all four of them with Marti and Dan giving each other the "I'm In Love With You Still Stink Eye".
The camera pulls away as the music comes up.
Speaking of hot cheering girls and boys, we got a bit of it at the beginning and then the only cheering after that was the christian academy cheer squad *yawn* that Savannah's slutty and pregnant (sound the sirens a christian girl lost her virginity and got pregnant whoop whoop whoop) sister cheers for. Savannah saves the day, fearing for the safety of the newly conceived cheerbaby and helps her sisters squad get the sponsorship they need for nationals. And then Savannah lies to her mother and realizes that there really is a time and a place for lying and sometimes we don't always need to know the truth, especially if that truth is knowing your best friend and your boyfriend did it in the back of a Buick, which by the way is exactly where Dan Patch and Marti just happen to be, discussing the scene of the original sex crime while Marti is on a stakeout trying to gather evidence to help with that wrongly accused musical convict she is going to free by the end of the season. Forgot about that, didn't you? Well, the writers didn't.
You know what they say, if the Buick's a rockin'... well they don't actually rock anything, but it does get a little steamy in the Buick but it's short lived and in the end Marti tells Dan it's all a mistake, it was then and it is now and that's that and then they started singing "Why Can't We Be Friends" by War. Not really I just made that up, but I think that would be really funny. Or stupid.
Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn apologizes to Marti for not having her back. Savannah forgives Marti for not telling her the entire truth about her and Dan. Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn goes and gets Dan Patch so that he and Savannah can "patch" things up. Then they all get together and have group sex.
Ha, no they don't but they do share a group hug, all four of them with Marti and Dan giving each other the "I'm In Love With You Still Stink Eye".
The camera pulls away as the music comes up.
