You know how to make yourself feel real good? Watch Hellcats after you ate an entire vat of mashed potatoes and chicken stew so that your belly looks a little, shall we say, pregnant.Because these girls are athletes damn it, who happen to be able to wear a skirt that looks a little bit more like a belt than a skirt. They don't even have to lie on their backs to make their bellies look flat.
Bitches.
Ha, I'm just kidding. They are all very, very cute and while I am sure the lead character Marti would probably smack me silly for calling her cute, it can't be denied. She is way cute and totally smart. And I kind of wouldn't mind it if she smacked me, or my ass or something.
Cheerleaders are ATHLETES and don't you ever forget it!
E. V. E. R.
So here is the One Night Stand Synopsis:
1. Marti has to get a scholarship because her WTEDM (White Trash Emotional Drunk Mother) can't pay the bills even though she's a university employee. (Plot Hole Number One. If we get to the third hole, it's going to be messy and I may have to back out of this.)
2. If your cheer squad is in danger of a major budget cut, your LEAD FLYER should not mess it up by trying to sabotage her replacement (Plot Hole Number Two) because obviously the coveted spot you so want would be cut from the budget, unless all you want is to be shtooped by Lewis?
And therein lies the rub. His name is Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn.
Karma is a total bitch, Alice!
If Alice hadn't taken Marti's towel and robe, Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn would never have seen her naked and she would never have seen Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn naked and... She. Is. Dumb!
Alice is a moron. A totally hot cute moron, but a moron nonetheless.
The real problem here is that Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn has requested that Marti be his permanent flyer, which I am sure is like becoming a servant of some kind of a god, and Alice in Moron Land was eavesdropping on that conversation, so now she is totally pissed off.
From what I gather even though Alice doesn't need to lie on her back to make her belly flat, I am pretty sure her she was doing "just that" for Lewis "Does this look crooked?" Flynn but now that Lewis has seen Marti naked (because Alice is indeed a moron), he wants her to FLY all around his face.
For crying out loud you would think I was watching Debbie Does Memphis and not Hellcats. Or Bring it On. Or some other porn movie yet to be made. Hellcats? Hmmm what could replace that? Hell what?
So, do we want to see more? OF COURSE WE DO! Because it ended with a stadium full of people and one of those people is Marti's White Trash Emotional Drunk Mother that we all scanned the crowd to try and find and failed because if we found her the season would be over.
Right?
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