It's Never That Time

Just as the sounds of the 80s have made their way back into popular music so has the fads of 80s fashion come creeping back. Acid wash, neon colors, and diagonal stripes have all popped up in stores and on celebrity asses (stop it, Rihanna). I swear I saw a 9-year-old the other day wearing the same outfit I wore to a junior high dance. Of course, along with the old-trends-made-new there are a few clothing pieces that have never really gone away. Items that have slyly reinvented themselves, showing up on runways over and over, clinging desperately to a sort of fabric half-life in a refusal to go to that great back of the closet in the sky. Pieces that are now taking full advantage of the 80s revival.

Such an item is the harem pant.

Which we all know are just thinly disguised Hammer pants.




"I like low crotch and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with a sassy bit of tease
And a diaper to her knees
You get sprung..."



So many mistakes to choose from. By the way, all of the items pictured are as current and cutting edge as possible. And that's why we have day-glo orange.




This one has a bow. And it's shiny! That makes it pretty!




You know what this outfit needs? More genitalia!




For the most part, you can see this year's batch of hammer pants have been slimmer and shorter cut than previous reimaginings. Oh wait...

I got the funk in my pants!




Some things should die with their decade.